Soul gazing is a form of concentration meditation, similar to breath meditation. In breath meditation, the breath holds our attention. In soul gazing, the eyes of another person become the focus.
Just like with the breath, you allow thoughts and emotions to come and go.
When your attention drifts, you notice it and gently bring it back. Soul gazing has an extra benefit: the practice becomes more powerful and engaging over time.
During my first soul gazing experience, I noticed the tension in the room slowly fade and change into something calmer.
I relaxed my shoulders and took deeper breaths, letting my thoughts fall away. I realized that I was always searching for something and often judging, labelling, and protecting myself. Simply noticing these habits helped me relax.
I felt curious. What if I let myself open more to my husband? What if I stayed fully in this moment, just as it is, and allowed connection to happen?
I flared my nostrils slightly, as if I were breathing more of him in. At the same time, I noticed his pupils widen, as if he was also allowing more of me in.
In soul gazing, there comes a moment when the gaze crosses boundaries. It feels similar to when a kiss deepens—intimate, personal, and intense, yet welcome.
As we sat together, doing nothing and simply being present, my peripheral vision faded. The boundary between us softened. My husband’s face seemed to shift into shadows. I found myself wondering, who is he, and who am I?
Time felt as if it had stopped. My worries disappeared, suddenly feeling unimportant compared to this shared experience—being together, without effort, right here and now.
Soul gazing in couple therapy and tantric practice
Have you ever met someone’s eyes and suddenly felt a spark in your body that sent tingles all over you?
No, that uncomfortable stare of your teacher is not what I mean when she reminds you about your missing homework.
This is a feeling that goes beyond, has more meaning, and is much more romantic.
Soul gazing and eye gazing belong to a kind of world where two people do not only share a quick glance. They share an intimate and revealing moment that can be really a transformative one.
Through soul gazing and eye gazing, hidden connection between two people takes a deeper level and possibly changes the way you look at love and relationships.
Think of it as a gentle dance between the eyes. There are no steps to learn, no special shoes, and no risk of clumsy mistakes. In this dance, emotions lead, and awkwardness naturally fades away.
Soul gazing and eye gazing are not simply about staring at each other. It’s a means of getting to know one another’s inner selves, going to a depth that is not always possible with words.
So what is the method of tantric soul gazing? And how can you do soul gazing without being uncomfortable or intrusive?
The Science of Soul and Eye Gazing
Far from being simple legends or verbal exaggerations, the ritual of soul and eye gazing is deeply connected with the essence of our neurological and psychological makeup.
When you think of meeting someone’s eyes, you don’t think of just a quick look but of a way to get to know, to become compassionate with and maybe to establish a kind of telepathic link.
Human Connection Based On Eye Contact
Eye contact has traditionally been a powerful means of nonverbal communication, but soul gazing and eye gazing elevate it to another level entirely.
To help with the understanding, let’s take a look at the psychology of eye contact. It is much more than just a quick glance.
Eye contact stimulates areas of the brain that are involved in social connection and emotional awareness.
In eye gazing, it seems as if your eyes are extending a hand shake very long and steady one without any awkwardness.
Research has indicated that prolonged eye contact may help to deepen the feelings of intimacy and mutual understanding.
It can quickly bring about a feeling of connection, without necessarily having to engage in forced conversation or resorting to small talk.
It is natural that you may be curious as to how soul gazing and eye gazing differ from just staring at somebody. The main distinguishing factor is the difference in intention, presence, and awareness.
Soul gazing involves truly seeing the person you are with, rather than just looking at them. It takes the focus away from the external features and directs it towards a more profound level of awareness.
Eye gazing is about sharing empathy and forming an emotional bond, which makes it possible for you to get a sense of the other person’s inner world.
It turns into a means of communicating without words and getting an even deeper understanding of the other person.
Psychological aspect of soul gazing
Get ready, because we are about to explore what’s really happening inside the brain.
First is oxytocin, often called the “love hormone” or “bonding hormone.” Eye gazing can trigger the release of this chemical, which creates feelings of trust and emotional closeness.
It is the body’s way of saying, “I feel safe with you, and I want to connect.” This response can deepen bonds and strengthen relationships.
So the next time you hold someone’s gaze, remember that your brain may be sharing a quiet hormonal boost of connection.
Next are mirror neurons. These neurons work like reflectors in the brain. They respond to what we see in others and help us feel what they feel. Because of this, they play a key role in emotional understanding.
During soul gazing, mirror neurons can create a shared emotional experience.
You begin to sense the other person’s feelings without words. It becomes a natural exchange, where both people feel connected and understood.
It’s like a silent dance. Both people move together in sync, guided by emotion rather than speech, with no effort and no awkward moments.
How to Practice Soul Gazing And Eye Gaze Step By Step Guide
In daily life, we usually avoid holding eye contact for too long. Staring into someone’s eyes can feel impolite, so we make brief contact and then look away. Because of this habit, soul gazing may feel uncomfortable or intrusive at first.
Yet, as you practice, you may notice that it touches a deeper need within you.
At our core, we want to feel close to the people we love. We long to be fully present with them. Soul gazing creates a doorway to this kind of present-moment connection.
To begin this experience, sit with someone you care about and gently explore the practice of soul gazing together. It offers a simple yet powerful way to connect more deeply, right here and now.
Now follow step by step guide on how to practice tantric soul gazing.
Find a comfortable place
Whether you are relaxing on a couch or sitting under a tree during a picnic, choosing a comfortable place for soul gazing is important.
The space should help both people feel relaxed and free from distractions. Think of it as creating a cozy spot where your souls can connect and feel at ease.
It does not have to be a special or quiet place. Even a casual setting works, as long as you both feel comfortable and present.
Feel comfortable and sit facing each other
Position yourselves so that you are simultaneously close enough to see each other in the eyes but still not so close that you feel that your personal boundaries have been violated.
You might call it the Goldilocks situation of gazing: a little bit of everything, but just the right amount. It fosters intimacy without creating unneeded tension.
Set your intention
Just like when you’re planning a road trip for your eyes, setting an intention gives a bit of guidance to your looking experience.
It can be pretty much anything from just wanting to feel more connected to the world around you to craving a deeper understanding.
Think of it as the North Star that guides your eyes on their spiritual voyage.
Begin soul gazing practice
Now gaze deeply at each other’s eyes. Don’t worry, blinking is perfectly okay and so is feeling a little weird at the beginning!
It is not about who can stare longer, but about your connection and discovering each other.
It is about looking each other in the eyes and being seen, so just let your eyes communicate the message.
Feel the connection and energy
Pay attention to the feelings and physical sensations that arise without being judgmental. It might be happiness, interest, or even the desire to chuckle as if you’ve just heard a grade, school joke.
That’s perfectly fine!
Take in the feeling and allow the relationship to develop on its own.
Few tips to add while practice soul gazing tantric practice
Who says soul gazing has to feel serious or intense all the time? It doesn’t. You can keep it fun, playful, and full of personality. If you want to add energy and excitement to your soul gazing practice, try these simple ideas.
1. Add Some Music
Soft background music can help set the mood and relax both of you. Choose something calming that you both enjoy, but not something so upbeat that it turns into a dance session.
2. Keep It Light
It’s okay if things feel awkward or funny at first. Soul gazing can be deep, but it doesn’t need to be serious. Laugh, smile, or even make a silly face. It all adds to the connection.
3. Experiment with Timing
Soul gazing is not a race. Start with short sessions and slowly increase the time. This helps the connection grow naturally without feeling overwhelming.
4. Try Different Environments
You don’t have to stay indoors. Try soul gazing under the stars, by the beach, or during a light rain. Think of it as a mini adventure for your eyes.
5. Incorporate Gentle Touch
If both of you feel comfortable, a light touch on the hand or shoulder can deepen the sense of connection. It adds warmth and reassurance to the moment.
6. Use Props or Themes
Make it fun by adding candles, fairy lights, or a simple theme. You can even dress up if you like. Turn it into a relaxed and creative experience.
7. Journal Your Experience
After the session, write down what you felt or noticed. This helps you reflect and remember how the experience affected you.
8. Mix It with Mindful breathing
Breathing together while holding eye contact can strengthen the connection. Slow, shared breaths help both people feel calm and present.
9. Invite Playful Competition
Turn it into a light-hearted game. Take turns describing each other’s eyes in the most creative way. It keeps the mood joyful and engaging.
10. Be Silly and Playful
Most importantly, have fun. Laugh, be goofy, and enjoy the moment. Soul gazing works best when both people feel relaxed, open, and authentic.
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Soul gaze and its effect on couple relationship
Soul gazing and eye gazing are not just practices for mystics or hopeless romantics. They have real and meaningful effects on relationships. But how do they actually work? What changes when you truly look into someone’s eyes?
1. Building Trust
Soul gazing is not just about looking; it is about truly seeing the other person. When both people open themselves in this way, trust grows naturally, built step by step through emotional honesty.
2. Fostering Intimacy
Eye gazing creates a deep sense of closeness. It allows partners to share emotions and understanding without barriers. By letting words fade into the background, intimacy grows through silent connection.
3. Discovering Each Other
Each gaze offers a chance to learn something new about your partner. It becomes a gentle exploration that leads to greater compassion, empathy, and emotional awareness.
4. Enhancing Communication
Sometimes words are not enough. Soul gazing strengthens communication by allowing emotions to be shared through the eyes. Feelings, reassurance, and even humour can pass without a single word.
5. Healing and reconnecting
After disagreements or emotional distance, eye gazing can help restore connection. It creates space for understanding, eases tension, and helps partners reconnect without judgment.
6. Sparking Creativity
Soul gazing can inspire creativity within a relationship. Shared moments of connection may lead to new ideas, interests, or activities that bring partners even closer together.
7. Moderation Matters
Soul gazing is meant to be connecting, not intense or forced. Practicing it in balance keeps the experience comfortable and meaningful rather than overwhelming.
Problem and Their Solution While Practice Couple Eye Gazing
Soul gazing is a deep and meaningful practice, but like anything new and personal, it can come with a few challenges. Feeling awkward, confused, or emotional is normal and part of the experience.
Here are some common challenges you may face and simple ways to handle them.
1. When It Feels Awkward Instead of Amazing
Challenge: Soul gazing can feel strange at first because it is unfamiliar.
Solution: Accept the awkwardness. Smile, laugh, take a short break, and continue. Just like learning a new skill, a little discomfort is part of the process.
2. When Eye Contact Feels Too Intense
Challenge: Holding eye contact for a long time may feel overwhelming.
Solution: Start gently. Look at your partner’s nose or lips before slowly moving to the eyes. Ease into it at your own pace.
3. When Strong Emotions Come Up
Challenge: Soul gazing can bring up unexpected feelings that rise and fall.
Solution: Share what you are feeling and pause if needed. Open communication helps both people feel safe and supported.
4. When Timing Feels Off
Challenge: It can be hard to know how long to practice. Too short feels rushed, and too long feels uncomfortable.
Solution: Begin with short sessions and slowly increase the time. A soft timer can help remove pressure.
5. When Distractions Interrupt
Challenge: Phones, noises, or pets can break focus.
Solution: Choose a quiet space. Silence phones, reduce noise, and create a calm environment before you begin.
6. When you’re Not Sure How to Begin
Challenge: Starting soul gazing may feel confusing or unclear.
Solution: Follow simple step-by-step guidance or learn from a class or workshop. Structure can make the experience feel more comfortable and grounded.
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Soul gazing couples therapy conclusion
Eye gazing is a PACT exercise where couples look into each other’s eyes for a set amount of time without speaking. It is a simple practice that couples can use in the moment to create or restore a sense of safety and security in their relationship. It can also help build intimacy.
From a PACT point of view, having one partner look directly into the other partner’s eyes is one of the most stimulating experiences for the brain. The brain is naturally drawn to new and engaging experiences, and truly looking into a partner’s eyes feels fresh and meaningful, even in long-term relationships.
PACT master also recognize that eye gazing helps partners regulate each other’s nervous systems without using words.
Through eye contact, partners can sense each other’s emotional and nervous system states.
The eyes are always changing, and holding a steady gaze allows each person to notice subtle shifts, expressions, and emotions.
As a trataka and gazing tantra expert, I would say that the eyes provide direct access to a partner’s nervous system. Through eye gazing, partners can calm themselves and each other.
In that sense, the saying that the eyes are the window to the soul is very close to the truth.
FAQ
Q. What is the spiritual meaning of soul gazing?
Soul gazing has a deep spiritual meaning because it allows two people to connect beyond words, thoughts, or physical appearance. Spiritually, it is seen as a way to recognize the essence or inner presence of another person. Many believe soul gazing helps dissolve ego, creates emotional transparency, and opens the heart. It brings awareness into the present moment and can feel grounding, healing, and spiritually awakening.
Q. How long should you practice soul gazing?
There is no fixed rule for how long soul gazing should last. Beginners usually start with 30 seconds to 2 minutes to avoid feeling overwhelmed. As comfort grows, sessions can extend to 5–10 minutes or longer. The key is to stop before it feels strained. Soul gazing should feel natural and connected, not forced or uncomfortable.
Q. What is eye gazing meditation?
Eye gazing meditation is a mindfulness practice where two people sit facing each other and maintain gentle eye contact without speaking. The goal is to stay present, notice emotions, and remain aware without judgment. It helps calm the nervous system, increase empathy, and deepen emotional bonding. This practice is often used by couples, friends, or even in therapeutic settings.
Q. How can you practice soul gazing with a stranger?
Soul gazing with a stranger should always be based on mutual consent and comfort. It often happens in workshops, meditation circles, or guided environments. Start with short eye contact, breathe calmly, and soften your gaze. Keep your attention on the present moment rather than expectations. If discomfort arises, it’s okay to stop. Respect and boundaries are essential.
Q. How do you know if your soul is connected to someone?
People often describe soul connection as a feeling of deep familiarity, emotional safety, and ease. Signs may include feeling understood without words, strong emotional resonance, calmness when together, or a sense of timelessness during connection. While experiences vary, soul gazing can sometimes bring awareness to these feelings by creating space for genuine presence and emotional openness.
